Date Night and a Shameless Pitch for Church

Last night was date night. I feel like the Hallelujah Chorus should be played after that sentence. Two of our sweet friends from church came and watched JAC while Jess and I escaped for the night.

We went to Chili's for dinner. I drank a margaritta. We didn't have to ask for a high chair. We didn't have to cut food up into tiny little bites. We talked and talked. We talked about adult things and we didn't worry about our child one little bit. We knew he was in great hands.

We finished dinner and headed to the cinema to see Avatar in 3-D. Jess really wanted to see the movie and he loved it. I thought the 3-D was pretty awesome. What's dorkier than a girl who wears one pair of glasses? A girl wearing two pairs of glasses while watching a sci-fi flick.

We came home at 10. The lights were off when I walked in and saw a wide eyed baby squashed between our friends on the couch. His look was priceless. He knew he had gotten away with something. Apparently he woke up a few minutes before we came home and cried so pitifully that he convinced our friends he needed out of his crib for a while. That kid is so sneaky!

***This part of the post is a bit disjointed:

Before our date I ordered a stack of conversation questions. It helped us stop talking about JAC and start talking about adult things. I would recommend this box of conversation starters to any couple stuck in the rut of parenthood. Here's the link if you would like to purchase a box.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0975855603/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B002FYGNF0&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=05KWVTF66Y40C1X51FNM

Finally, here's my shameless pitch for church. A church is full of people.
The people aren't perfect but most of the time they're trying to do what is right and love each other. A church is a lot like a family. Sometimes we drive each other crazy but when your kid has pushed you to the limit your church will step in and fill the gap. They'll bring your kid new books and hug him and love him until you're less tired and ready to do the job yourself. That's priceless.

10 Marshmellow Day

I woke up this morning longing for the wild open spaces I grew up near. I searched the web for pictures of Albuquerque, NM. This picture taken near the Elleno Gallegos trail head instantly brought me back to one of my favorite memories.

When I was six we lived in Albuquerque, NM. Often on Saturday afternoons we would drive to this trail head and hike. My dad would carry my younger brother in a back pack for part of the trip. Our little dog McDuff would wander leash free and we three older ones would run down the trail and climb on rocks jetting up from the desert.

Mom always packed a cooler in the back of the van. When the hike was complete we would roast hot dogs, drink non-name brand orange soda and watch the mountains turn watermelon pink in the sunset. The moon would rise and a tiny blink of light would identify the tram travelling up and down the mountain.

We would finish off with roasted marshmallows. I would always catch mine on fire because I enjoyed the sugary blackened crunch. There was never a limit on how many marshmallows you could have. I'm not sure if my parents were just too exhausted to police one more thing or if they knew that eating 10 marshmallows in one night was childhood magic.

I hope your weekend is a 10 marshmallow weekend. I hope it is simple, magical and punctuated with sugary blackened crunch.

4 Years

Today we are celebrating our four year anniversary. We didn't have any pictures from our wedding but my friend Sara who is a very talented photographer did a photo shoot with us this fall so we would have some pictures to put in an album. I think the pictures turned out beautifully. If you ever need a good friend or a good photographer you should give Sara a call.

Both Jess and I agree that it has been a crazy four years but we wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't think of anyone else I would rather have as a best friend and partner. Here's a couple of things we've done over the past four years:

1. Visited Mexico, Mongolia, Iraq, Kuwait, Germany, China and Ireland
2. Visited 6 National parks and been to 45 states
3. Totaled one truck
4. Been to one war
5. Ran a marathon
6. Been camping
7. CPT Promotions
8. Had one awesome kid
9. 3 Moves
10. One wild dog

We didn't do all of these things together. Sometimes circumstances relegated one of us to support staff but we spent a lot of time cheering each other on. Who would have guessed that one dual mechanical bull ride would launch such a grand adventure?

Happy Friday!

One a Days

Pre-season athletics always brings Two a Days. This is jock jargon for two grueling work outs a day. Coaches use this torture method to get athletes in shape quickly before the season starts. It also serves as a right of passage and creates team unity.

Nothing has been harder on my ego than becoming a mother. I have never liked myself less than as a mother. Things that once contributed to my self worth are no longer relevant and let's face it - there is nothing more humbling than routinely being outsmarted by a one year old.

In an effort to improve my moral I created a list of small things I try to do once a day. It is like mom training camp. It sets the conditions for a more productive day and acts as a barometer for success. When you are running a marathon once inch at a time it is hard to see any progress. These tasks are very simple but never fail to help improve my day.

1. Put on real pants and real shoes. A perk of being a mom is the uniform. You could live in PJ's and it wouldn't matter. Real clothes remind me that raising a kid is a job and I should take is seriously - most of the time.

2. Walk the dog. Even if we only go around the block we all have a better attitude after some fresh air.

3. Listen to NPR's song of the day. The songs are unique and add depth to a day full of diapers

3. 25 crunches. I usually do them on the kitchen floor while JAC eats his breakfast.

4. Wash the kid. You actually don't have to wash your kid every day but I think I like him better when he is clean.

5. Read my Bible chapter.

6. Make the bed. I always start with the bed and it often creates enough momentum to get more cleaning done.

7. Put on lipstick and mascara. Feel free to judge me. I feel prettier with a little makeup even if I don't always have time to shower.

Happy Friday!

In the Shadow

There is nothing quite like standing in the shadow of a mountain to remind you of your own insignificance and the greatness of our God.

Most weeks I pray that Jesus will come back soon. I am homesick for heaven. Today, for very personal reasons I have decided to quit saying that prayer.

Today I am wishing that I was standing in the shadow of a mountain - the closest place I know to home.

Another Bath Story from a Slow Learner

This morning I was in a rush. We needed to make it to Mom's group by 9:30 and I was already behind schedule. I had planned to throw clothes on JAC and head out the door but noticed a banana stuck to his head.

I dumped him into the bath and furiously scrubbed him down while simultaneously making a mental list of unaccomplished tasks. I drained the tub, secured the knobs and ran to fill the sippy cup and pack the baby bag. I left JAC in the tub assuming he was safe and contained.

A few minutes later I saw a white flash in my peripheral vision and looked over. Again, I had underestimated JAC. He had figured out how to climb out of the tub and was racing around my house naked. Needless to say, we were late for Mom's group.

I'm Back

Our internet/cable line fell down again. We waited a week and the lineman came today. I am so thankful to have contact with the outside world again.

Jess was out of town this weekend. I can never sleep when he is traveling and by the time he arrived home late Sunday night I was conked out in bed. The next day before he left for work he kissed me and said, "The kid is changed and fed, the dishes are done and the coffee has has been made." I felt instantly happy and thanked him for his efforts. He smiled and said, "I'm back."

A few months ago Jess started making coffee for me before he left for work. It is one of the things I love most about my husband. He is deeply considerate. As I groggily wake up I love stumbling into the kitchen and finding fresh coffee. It feels like Jess' signature written on the counter. I love this reminder that as Jess hurried to get ready for work he took a few minutes and did something special for me. It is the perfect way to start my day. When Jess said, "I'm back," I knew exactly what he meant. Everything was alright. My partner was there and he was on my team.

Why Children Should be Well Supervised in the Tub

I understand that you should never leave your child unsupervised in the bath. I thought I had calculated all possible hazards when I turned my back for just a minute. JAC was having so much fun and I wanted to pick up the toys abandoned on the floor.

In the blink of an eye my moment of inattentiveness was just the opportunity JAC needed. He grabbed a whole roll of toilet paper and threw it in the tub. When it was thoroughly saturated he tossed it on the floor creating the world's largest spit wad. If you look closely you can see it plopped on the bathroom floor while JAC looks on with pride.

Thinking About Nothing

I hate Chemistry. Its eating up every minute of my free time. I am really struggling. Last night I told Jess I was quitting school and spending my free time learning how to sew. He told me "no." When I asked why he said, "Sweat shop or helping people feel better - this is a no brainer."

Yesterday I asked Jess how long it would take for all of this snow to melt. He told me I would have to wait until March. That is a really long time. Speaking of time, in a couple of weeks Jess and I will have our four year anniversary. I remember when I was in high school and four years felt like a life time. Now four years seems like a minute.

I am adding to my list of reasons why we should move West. The Olympics are on. Because we live on the East Coast most of the really good action doesn't start until way after my bed time. I've been staying up too late. Now I feel like I have hangover.

On Valentines Day I read my blog post from 2009. JAC slept through the night on V-Day last year and then it didn't happen again until Sept. That means I went almost 9 months without a good night's sleep. No wonder I felt like I was going crazy.

Olive Branch, Peace Pipe, Cheerio

When JAC was born we brought him home and anxiously introduced him to our dog Roxy. Her initial curiosity quickly welled up into a smoldering pot of full fledged jealousy. Recently her attitude has changed. She and JAC are becoming great friends. It's amazing how persuasive a handful of Cheerios can be.

What a Girl Wants - V Day.

I know a lot of people hate Valentines Day but I don't. I actually kind of like it. I like making heart shaped cookies and I like have an extra reminder to be generous to the people I love.

Jess and I always go low key for Valentine's Day. We usually don't buy expensive presents. I ask for grocery store flowers and Jess likes it if I cook steak for dinner. This year I asked for one special present and I got exactly what I wished for.

Jess and JAC went to the PX and picked me out a brand new vacuum cleaner. As soon as they brought it home Jess unpacked it and I gave it a try. It was awesome. I felt relieved for our rugs to be grime free.

I hope your Valentine's Day lives up to your expectations! Happy Valentine's!

Wrestle Rama!

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! IT'S WRESTLE RAMA! YOU PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY USE THE EDGE!

About once a day JAC and I go crazy. I toss him on the bed and we wrestle. He gets body slammed. I get tackled. He gets tickled. We both jump on the bed. He tries to get away. I chase him down. The dog barks and tries to get into the mess. By the end of it we're both happy and kind of tired.

I love my bed. I purchased it back when we were a two salary family. I waited for weeks and Pottery Barn finally delivered it. I debated which linens to put on it. I picked out every pillow. My first chore of every day is making the bed. I like making the bed because I like the way it looks when it is crisply put together. One wild wrestling match and the bed is a complete mess.

A few days ago Jess went outside into the blizzard. JAC and I climbed on the bed to watch him out the window. A few minutes later I heard a funny sound and looked over. JAC had chomped onto the bed and was chewing it up. I tried to pry him off but he dug his teeth in. When I finally got him to break loose my beloved bed was scarred by teeth marks. That little beaver better be careful or I'm going to put him in a head lock.

My Final Snow Update

JAC has been absolutely horrible for the last few days. It was getting so bad that I was beginning to think I didn't like him. Unfortunately for both of us we were trapped together. All we could do is stare out the window and watch the wind whip sheets of snow by.

Today the sun came out and slowly neighbors started emerging from their igloo houses. JAC woke up from his nap and I didn't hesitate. I knew exactly what we both needed. I bundled us up, put JAC in his pack and Roxy on her leash and took off. We walked around the neighborhood for about an hour and when I returned the old JAC returned too. It was like we both needed some fresh air.

Grand snow total at our house was approximately 33 inches. It's hard to know the exact amount due to drifting. I took three measurements and then averaged them. That's a lot of snow! Last night when the snow stopped and I was going bonkers, I went out and shoveled out both our vehicles. Roxy was in the front yard but I was shoveling our back driveway. A few minutes later she came running up. I thought the wind had blown our gate open. Instead, the snow was so high Roxy simply stepped over the fence and made her escape. The only thing keeping her in the yard now is her undying devotion to us. Hopefully next week brings us lots of sun.

Bang Crash Bang

I have a big headache and I feel like a walking zombie. I'm so sleepy. My thoughts are jumbled in my head. Bang! Crash! Bang! I think I lost a thought in that collision. Hopefully it wasn't a good one.

I'm feeling weird and a little loopy. I have good reason. We have more snow coming our way. If this keeps up I'm going to have to train Roxy to pull a dog sled. This isn't good. I still haven't trained her to come when I call.

I think I'm allergic to snow. We they said we were getting more snow I almost puked. If snow tasted like pudding I might like it better.

Thank goodness for one important thing - Jesse. God bless Jess. This rhymes and that man saves my sanity. I am hiding in the basement pretending it is Hawaii and I'm listening to my husband with my son. Can I say that it is absolutely hilarious and more than a little charming?

Jess is teaching JAC how to use his baby fork. They have discussed the two methods. You can either jab or scoop. JAC prefers the jab method but Jess is encouraging JAC to try the scoop as well.

Prior to the fork lesson I listened to Jess be absolutely shocked. He had been feeding JAC pasta. He thought JAC was eating it only for JAC to spit the pasta out in a waterfall when Jess least expected it. This kind of stuff happens to me all the time so I expect it. It's funny to listen to Jess by surprised. Jess then had a long discussion with JAC about chipmunking food. The discussion ended with Jess pondering aloud how large the chipmunk's cheeks are to its little body. I'm sure JAC thought deeply about this concept.

Jess is a magical dad. Its like being a dad is his secret ninja skill. We should have had kids ten years ago. Wait - we didn't know each other ten years ago. We didn't know each other 5 years ago. It's the snow. We I get to heaven someday it better be sunny.

On a Serious Note

I've always enjoyed the company of complicated people. I like people who are constantly questioning things but I've noticed that complicated people are often conflicted people. I have several friends and family that have struggled with depression. I have always felt that whatever option they chose to combat this struggle was a personal decision.

Last week Newsweek published a long article referencing a study published in Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA). The study compared the effectiveness of multiple anti-depressants to the effectiveness of a placebo. Except in cases of very extreme depression placebos were practically as effective as any of the drugs. This means it is possible that many people could possibly see improvements when on medications simply because they expect to see improvements.

****Please understand that I am in no way against the use of anti-depressant medications. I feel this is a very personal decision. I have only posted this because I think people should be informed in their choice. Talk to your medical professional. I am just a mom who blogs. These are some of the most popular drugs in America but they can have some undesirable side effects. Here is the link to the abstract of the article. You can purchase the complete article or view it at a university library.
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/short/303/1/47

Depression is this study was rated using the Hamilton Depression Rating Scale. You can see a version of it at this link:

http://www.strokecenter.org/trials/scales/hamilton.html

The Kid Drawer

While my family was here for Thanksgiving we decided to move JAC's bedroom to the basement. The basement is warm and cozy and I wanted to consolidate the kid stuff out of sight. I have learned that kid stuff has the strange capacity to multiply rapidly. Christmas contributed to this phenomenon because each set of grandparents gave JAC new toys.

I piled all the toys in a Tupperware box in the basement and declared the basement a "play room." Every day I dump the toys out on the floor and try to entice JAC to play. After a few minutes he takes off up the stairs. He'll cruise around the house checking things out but he always seems to end up at the same place - the kid drawer.

JAC is always hanging out in the kitchen while I cook dinner. A few months ago I cleared out one of the lower kitchen drawers and threw some kid friendly junk in there. There are a couple of measuring cups, some measuring spoons, a big wooden spoon, some boxes, hot pads, and a bag of jumbo marshmallows.

JAC loves this drawer and the junk in it. First he always digs to the bottom and retrieves the bag of marshmallows. I always let him open the bag and put one in his mouth before I take the bag away. The marshmallow is a sticky mess but it is fun to glance over and see JAC with a big white blob spilling out of his mouth.

Next JAC bangs the measuring cups together and eventually things end with him chasing the dog around the kitchen with the wooden spoon in hand. This is likely not my best parenting but it keeps JAC busy. So, in the future please don't feel the least bit tempted to buy JAC a toy. It will eventually end up forgotten in the toy box. Instead throw a piece of junk in his drawer. He'll love you forever.

Book Club Sunday

My family once had an online book club. We would post fiery debates on our Yahoo Groups Site. We made it through one book and then people quickly started losing interest. Now the site is dormant and there are reports of book club members receiving mountains of junk mail in their in-boxes from Yahoo.

I love to read and I love to talk about books. Lately I've been trading books with a friend who is an English teacher and it has been lovely. With 25 inches of snow on the ground and a cup of coffee in my hand all I want to do is snuggle up and read. It doesn't seem too likely at the moment. I have a wild child jumping in his bed trying to get out and a mountain of snow to shovel. Eventually, I'm going to get a moment to read.

I like people. I like watching people, thinking about people and wondering why they do the things they do. This year I'm mapping out my limited reading time to read a series of books about people doing things that I don't naturally understand.

Here are the first three books on my list. I am still looking for 3 more books to read as part of this series and I would love your suggestions. If you would like to discuss any of these books I would also love to hear your point of view. Happy Sunday!

"Working In The Shadows," by Gabriel Thompson discusses his experiences being employed in jobs on the bottom rung of the economic ladder.

Math geniuses who use quantitative-analysis techniques on Wall Street and their stories are told in Scott Patterson's new book The "Quants: How a New Breed of Math Whizzes Conquered Wall Street and Nearly Destroyed It."

"We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda" is a 1998 non-fiction book about the genocide of 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus in Rwanda in 1994, written by The New Yorker writer Philip Gourevitch.

In My Mind's Eye

When my brother was in college he had a friend from Burundi and invited him to our house for the holidays. As my brother went around the room introducing our family his friend seemed utterly perplexed by my Tutu. When my brother explained this was his great-grandmother the friend gawked in disbelief stating, "Great-grandmother - This is not possible." He had never met someone that old before.

When the news said we could get 30 inches of snow my I had a similar feeling of disbelief. I had never seen 30 inches of snow except on ski slopes. I had no point of reference. I casually told my mom last night that the news was exaggerating.

We currently have 2 feet of snow and it is still coming down. The news says it won't stop until 10 tonight so there likely will be 30 inches of snow by tonight. It is beautiful, and mind boggling. This morning we let our dog Roxy out to play in the snow. After 20 minutes Jess remembered she was still out there and tried to get her to come in. She was completely stuck. She couldn't make it through the snow and Jess had to dig her out.

In honor of the snow I made my favorite family recipe. It's tasty and perfect with a warm cup of coffee. Here's our recipe for Buttons and Bow Knots. (They are basically sugared biscuits.) Enjoy!

• 1/3 c. Butter
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. nutmeg
1 3/4 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. milk

• 1 Egg

• Cut butter into flour. Add sugar, baking powder, nutmeg, salt, and cinnamon. Mix until mixture resembles fine crumbs. Mix egg and milk and add to dough. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface. Knead lightly. Roll 1/2 inch thick. Cut with floured cutter. Hold opposite end of each ring and twist. Place on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 425 degrees for 8-10 minutes. Dip into butter. Dip in 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tablespoon cinnamon

Not a Family Friendly Post - Caution XXX

When you become a parent you automatically begin to re-evaluate everything from a child's point of view. I am constantly thinking, "In a few years I'm going to have to explain this to a three year old." For instance, how do I explain my friend's dog that humps my leg every time I walk in the door?

Yesterday, after two days of non stop crying and a huge snow storm looming at my door I decided to take JAC to the doctor. As we sat there the room quickly filled up with other sick kids and mothers all saying the same thing. "Snow is coming, thought I should get this checked out just in case." When your kid is sick every other kid looks like a germy critter and all the other moms just look like whiners who are making your wait time at the doctor way too long.

As suspected JAC has double ear infections. We left armed with a prescription for antibiotics. I dropped off the prescription at the pharmacy and took JAC home. An hour later I returned to pick up the antibiotics and of course hoards of people wanted their medicine before the storm. The pharmacist was sending people away left and right. He had too many prescriptions and not enough time. Luckily I had worn my attention getting knee length boots. I wear them every other day because I like attention. The pharmacist said that if I would wait he would find the time to fill my prescription. Hallelujah.

As I waited I had lots of time for contemplation. The entire aisle near the counter was the condom aisle. Right there within four square feet there were, condoms, ovulation predictors, lube, male enhancers, female condoms, sperm acide, pregnancy tests and Plan B. In a span of four square feet you could try to get pregnant, try not to get pregnant, try to get un-pregnant, have sex better, have sex longer, have sex safer, or have sex more twisted. It was a dizzying whirl to think about.

I have a natural tendency to categorize and then break things down into basic components. Here are my observations about this pharmacy isle. I hope I won't have to explain this to a three year old.

1. All condoms claim to feel as if they don't exist except for the female condom which only claimed to keep you safe.
2. If you are marketing some kind of lube or oil you will likely name it something bizarre like Silver Fusion Bullet. What in the world?
3. All pregnancy tests are apparently for complete idiots because they claim to be "Easy to read." How hard is it to read a plus sign?

Anticipation

Yesterday we had a visitor. The Comcast Cable technician came and restrung our cable line. Apparently a big truck had driven by and accidentally tore down the line. After a week without cable and internet I was so happy to see the technician that I felt like giving him a hug. He couldn't have come soon enough. The TV is a buzz of forecasters predicting a huge snow storm coming our way. They are giving updates every 15 minutes detailing how close the storm is and which counties are already getting snow. We are predicted to have 18 inches of snow by Saturday night.

I'm looking forward to the storm. I've made my preparations. I went to the grocery store and stocked up essentials. I've planned a tasty menu of cozy foods and warm baked good. I have a mountain of books to read and new Netflix to watch. I'm ready.

Whenever I hear a big storm is coming our way I fill my bird feeder and dump mounds of bird food on my window sills. I like to look out the window and see birds perched on my trees, fighting over the bird food or sitting contentedly, feathers puffed out from the cold. This morning when I went to re-fill the feeder I felt like I was part of Hitchcock's movie The Birds. Word must have gotten out about my feeder. Hundreds of birds were perched on every branch, power line and roof top waiting for their fill of bird food before the big storm.

Roxy does not share my enthusiasm for birds. She considers the bird feeder part of her territory and works diligently to scare off offending birds and squirrels. Today I made her stay inside and watch the birds. It was torture for her. She paced, scratched at the door and finally resigned herself to sit on the couch and watch the birds eat at our feeder. She seemed utterly dejected.

Winter is not my favorite season. I prefer warmer weather but I like the way a good snow storm brings everyone together. This morning my neighbor called to say he was running to the store and asked if I needed anything. The last big storm the guys in the neighborhood formed a team and shoveled out all the cars on the block. Typically everyone is too busy to slow down and hang out but a big storm unites us with a common purpose. I love that feeling. It makes the world seem more right. I'll post pictures of the snow later but now I'm off to grab a cup of hot chocolate and watch the flakes come down.