THE ADVENTURES OF THE JAC ATTACK!

A Blog about a clever boy and a mom determined to out-smart him.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Animals




Do you ever wake up in the morning, look around your life and feel like a wild caged animal? I think JAC might sympathize.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Ted and the Doctor

My friend April is a doctor. She's not just and ordinary doctor. She's in charge of training the medical interns at George Washington Hospital. That means she's creating future doctors at one of the best medical schools in the world.

Sometimes I look over at her during church. Her waist is decorated in beepers. She is wearing cute calf length boots and every part of me wants to be her. I admire her because she is important. People really need her. But, what I admire most is her talent for loving people where they are. She doesn't try to change you. She just appreciates the person who you are. This is such a unique and valuable quality.

April once called me, "A very process oriented person." I thought it was a great compliment. She also understands my abundant curiosity about random things. Last night she told me about TED Talks. These are 20 minute talks given by experts in multiple fields. They are perfect for moms who don't have much time but are scared their brains are slowly turning into goo.

My first TED Talk was a discussion on how our education system stifles creativity. You can watch TED Talks for free on YouTube. Here's the link to get you started: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Why I Love My Husband Reason 20013

Today I was in a car accident. I knew it was going to happen. I had a premonition. So, when it did happen it felt more surreal than anything else. I stopped at a red light and watched in my rear view mirror as an over priced SUV collided with the rear end of my truck. When I heard the deep thud and felt the jolt I remember thinking, "I've got this - I knew this was going to happen and everything is OK."

The accident was only a small fender bender and the other driver was a puddle of remorse. As we exchanged insurance information and she supplied broken apologies she said, "I hope your husband will not be too mad."

Jess was not mad. I wasn't even worried about that. He was mildly concerned and glad that I was OK. I had an afternoon of activities planned and went on with my errands. Later, when I arrived home Jess was making dinner. The laundry had been done and he was wearing that brown long sleeve t-shirt that I love. The moment I walked in the door he gave me a huge hug. The accident had been hours before but he still said that he was so thankful that I was home and safe.

My phone blinked alerting me of a voice-mail. It was the lady who had hit me. Her husband was apparently very angry. He didn't want an additional claim on his insurance. When I told her our vehicle only had small scratches and we did not plan on filing a claim she seemed utterly relieved. At that moment, I was very relieved too. I was relieved that I married a man who never asked if our truck was damaged. He just wanted to know that I was safe.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Things I Like About Being a Stay at Home Mom

I'm a whiner. You have probably noticed that I wail and complain a lot, especially when it comes to parenting. There are frankly two reasons for this.

Expectation Management: Frankly, I really thought I would be more glamorous than this and I haven't quite gotten over the disappointment.

I am Clueless: I am absolutely clueless about parenting. This results in lots of trial and error and lots more error. My poor kid - If he turns out normal it will only be by the grace of God.

In a refreshing change of pace I have decided not to whine today but instead list my favorite parts of this job.

1. I'm my own boss. I know people try to claim that their kid is the boss but let's face it - I'm bigger. I can still bully this kid around.

2. The commute. I flop out of bed, groan and walk downstairs. Sometimes I forget to put pants on.

3. Being Outdoors. JAC and I spend most of the time in the sun. When it is cold we go to the mall play place. This is why last year my 6 month old had a tan.

4. The fashion. When I worked for the government a day at the office was a virtual fashion parade. Since I am fashion impaired it was bad for my self esteem. In mom world if you put on a skirt people think you're a rock star.

5. The excuses. Part of my job is cooking and cleaning. If none of that gets done I lie on my kitchen floor and cry about how horrible our child is. Jess has sympathy for me and forgets that I didn't do my job for the day. That doesn't often happen in the corporate world.

6. Mushy Stuff. This is the spot where the typical stay at home mom writes about how much she loves molding her child's life or how much a simple hug from a one year old can mean. I'm not going to go there, but please know I sometimes think about those things too.

Water, Water Everywhere

Yesterday it rained, and thundered and rained some more. JAC was dismayed. We typically spend 5 hours a day at the park and he didn't want to be stuck indoors. I sympathized with his feelings but quickly grew annoyed the fifth time JAC drug me to the back porch and banged on the stroller attempting to get me to take him outside in a down pour.

Finally the rain stopped and the sky turned pink. The clouds were highlighted in gold and I felt a bit like Noah after being trapped inside with two wild creatures all day. Our neighbors came over and we all went next door to enjoy the fresh air in another neighbor's lawn.

As the guys stood around and drank beer, the girls chatted the kids splashed in the puddles. JAC loved it and was quickly soaked head to toe. The adults stopped talking to admire all the fun the kids were having. Then JAC bent down and put both hands on the ground. He butt was in the air and he lowered his face down. The Dad's questioned what he was up to but within an instant I saw the future. JAC stuck his head in the puddle and tried to take a big drink. Have I mentioned that my son spends too much time with our dog? I'm not sure how I'm going to explain it to our pediatrician when JAC comes down with a case of giardia.

JAC must have been really thirsty because a few minutes later Jess set his beer down. He was going to take JAC home and put dry clothes on him. Without hesitation JAC grabbed the bottle and tried to take a swig. Luckily it was empty but I think I see a wild teenager in our future.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Swim - But Not in the Potomac

What's new with the Connelly's? Today JAC said, "New trash can." He was excited about the new location of his bedroom trash can. We had to move the old trash can when I discovered JAC could reach it from his crib. He was digging out dirty diapers and spreading the contents in his bed.

I taught JAC the sign language for "Please," and he'll actually use it when prompted. Is that considered a parenting victory? I'm pretty sure he just uses it as an avenue to get what he wants.

The Potomac river has swollen past its banks. My insatiable love of disasters prompted a road trip to view the watery mess.

Speaking of mess...I'm neck deep and drowning in Chemistry. I spent another 3 hours studying today. This puts me in double digits. Have I ever told you that I passed college math only by the grace of God? I know you think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. It was a Pass/Fail class. I sat down to take the final exam and didn't know a single question. I prayed that God would help me pick the correct bubbles to fill in and I passed. This method of test taking did not work when I took my GRE. I believe God appreciates prepared students.

I have fallen in love again. This seems to happen about once a week. A new subject will come along and it will be completely enticing. This week I'm in love with Frightened Rabbit. They are a Scottish band and something about their song Swim Until You Can't See Land, feels like a sound track to my life. Here's the link:http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=123317349&m=123302537. I hope you love this song too. Let me know if the link doesn't work.

Jump head first into the abyss. You might just fall in love.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Honk

We live one block from the fire station. Every day the firetrucks fly down our street and both JAC and I like it. The red blur makes my mundane life seems mildly more exciting. The added excitement comes with added noise. Eventually you get so used to hearing the scream of the sirens and the dogs howling in reply that it seems normal. The noise is an ordinary piece of our ordinary life.

A few nights ago we heard a sound that did not seem organic to our neighborhood. At first we thought it was the emergency vehicles but upon second listen we understood that it was something different. It was a persistent, headstrong, longing announcement. My soul remembered the sound.

The geese were coming home. All week flocks of geese have been flying over. They are returning from their winter vacations and their honks are laced with feelings very familiar to me. They will fly through Spring's bluster to the place they love the most.

I grew up moving around a good bit. I struggled when people asked me where I was from. As an adult I tell people I am from New Mexico because it was a place where my heart felt free. Now home feels less like a place. Home is wherever my two guys are. I love them best and when I'm away all I want to do is going honking back to wherever they are.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Multi Tasking






Sometimes I feel like I'm raising two puppies. Roxy barks out the front door and JAC runs over and barks too. Roxy eats cheerios off the floor and JAC finds one on the floor too.

Today I had one smelly dog, one dirty kid and a husband determined to clean both. I am beginning to see why Roxy and JAC act so much alike.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Fort





When we were dating we lived in an Army hotel and our room doors faced each other. On rainy Saturdays we would take blankets and turn one of our rooms into a fort. We would watch a movie or eat lunch in our fort. There is something really magical about a fort. It has secret qualities and promotes a feeling of membership.

This week I put my old table cloth on our kitchen table. It's a bit too big and hangs over each side creating a dark cave underneath. JAC instantly loved the effect and spends a good portion of each morning lurking in his cave. It's just tall enough that he can stand underneath and feel hidden.

JAC's fort has only one drawback. He has to crawl under the kitchen chairs to get in. After playing for half an hour he forgets how to get out. In frustration he tries to barrel through the chairs.

These chairs are from generations past and with a small amount of pressure the chair seats come off. JAC pushed off the chair cushion and saw daylight. He thought he had found his escape route and made a run for it. Unfortunately, he was stuck and the chair came too. This didn't slow him down. He headed out of the kitchen at warp speed and was only slowed down when the chair fell over and he tumbled with it.

I think this fort might need some improvements. A trap door or a rope to get out would make it just perfect. I hope today you have a secret hiding place to get away from the world.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Just When You Thought I Couldn't Get Any Weirder

I have always felt that individual letters have colors. In my mind the letter A is yellow and the letter Q is always blue. Sometimes this interferes with my ability to spell because I hate to mentally see colors next to each other that just don't seem to work.

Similarly, I often relate things I really love to tastes I really enjoy. For instance, when I imagine the perfect pair of calf-length black riding boots I instantly taste mint chocolate chip ice cream in my mouth.

For a long time I thought everyone had similar sensations. Then, this weekend as I drove home from Charlottesville I heard a story on the radio about synesthesia. Synesthesia is a neurological disorder in which the senses get crossed. The part of your brain responsible for this information is very near your ear.

Some studies suggest that one in 23 people have symptoms of synesthesia. While there are no known negative side-effects it is suggested the disorder often causes a person to be more creative. In my case it just makes me a little more weird. Happy Tuesday - Especially to all of my weird friends.

Monday, March 8, 2010

An Update

My weekend without the guys was awesome. I am so glad that Jess pushed me to get away for a day. Here is a very quick run down on what I did on my day away. I've decided to write it in a list because I'm feeling lazy and don't want to write complete sentences.

1. Drove to Charlottesville, VA.
2. Visited the home of James Madison
3. Strolled around downtown a did a bit of shopping
4. Checked out the UVA campus
5. Ate girl food
6. Took a really long nap
7. Swam in the hotel pool
8. Kept absolutely no schedule
9. Slept in late
10. Drank Starbucks uninterrupted
11. Studied chemistry
12. Missed my guys and came home a couple of hours early

My weekend getaway changed my whole perspective on life. I loved having that much time to myself. It was so nice that Jess held down the fort for me. He and JAC had a great time too. They went hiking, running and ate man food. Jess even made homemade cookies to take to small group. I love that guy!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Packing

I am busy packing. With a Chemistry testing looming and my mental capacity shrinking, Jess and I decided I should get away for a day. I haven't decided exactly where I'm going. I don't want to drive too far but I do plan on staying in a hotel with a pool, going on a couple of walks by myself and sleeping in. In the middle of all of that I will be trying to force my brain to remember minute facets of chemistry.

This will be my first full day away from JAC since my mom came in the fall. It will also be Jess' first over night alone with JAC. When we first concocted this plan I thought my heart couldn't handle it. It took me almost a year to become really attached to JAC but now I have to resist an urge to sleep by his door at night. I'm pretty crazy about this crazy kid.

This afternoon am surrendering JAC's baby clothes to a teen mom who could really use them. I'll spend the morning packing them up. I've been avoiding this chore. I have never counted myself among the sentimental but somehow these tiny items of babyhood leaving our house seem to indicate an end of a season.

As I sort and fold, I feel as if we have summarily dismissed babyhood and ushered in toddler hood. I'm excited for a new stage and partially heartbroken that I nearly missed the last stage amidst the chaos in my mind.

I'll spend the weekend trying to learn how to breath again. I'll try not to worry. I'll try to think of this as one more step forward in a great adventure. Happy Friday!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

That's Why its Called Falling

From a mechanical standpoint, running is the art of continuously falling and catching yourself. Lately, it seems that most of the people I love are running up hill. We are all feeling a little tired. I keep trying to see the finish line. I can't quite find it but there is one thing I know from running a marathon. If you stop, the pain will overwhelm you and you might not start again. I also know when you can't find the finish line, you might find a pace group - a group of people who are trudging along with a similar goal in mind. Their energy will push you to reach a personal record or at least get you up the final hill so you can spot the finish line on the horizon. Happy running!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Know Your Enemy

This morning I woke up with a HUGE headache. It was the kind of headache that hurts so bad that it makes you feel a bit sick to your stomach. All I wanted to do is stay in bed but of course JAC woke up an hour early. I begged God to send me a nanny. When it seemed apparent that Mary Poppins wasn't going to show up on our door step I drug myself out of bed.

In the Army we use a system called MDMP - Military Decision Making Process - to make big decisions. I enlisted an alternate analytical tool. Let's just call it the Mom Decision Making Process.

I analyzed my enemy - one rowdy, wild eyed terror in a crib. I knew JAC has only one true weakness. He loves milk in a bottle. He doesn't get it often because we've been transitioning him to using sippy cups instead.

I walked downstairs, changed his diaper, tossed him a bottle and curled up in a fetal position in my bed. I instructed Jess to do the same before he left the house. If this wasn't bad enough I gave him a third bottle when I limped out of bed half an hour later. I just needed some coffee and some quiet.

The bottle bought me some time. I fortified my defensive. Now armored with coffee and ibuprofen I have to go spring a small child from his baby jail. I'm praying that reinforcements show up soon. Wish me luck...or send a chaplain. My santity might be in question by the end of the day.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Holy Grail

I love data. I like collecting data. I comparing data. I like organizing data. I even take our bank statements and create pie charts indicating how we spend our money.

My favorite kind of data is information about why people do the things they do. Yesterday I found my Holy Grail. The US Census Bureau releases something called the Statistical Abstract. It details stats on a dizzying array of subjects. You can click on the education category and find out if more men or more women graduate college. You can click on the health category and find out which state has the most uninsured residents - California followed by Texas. Here's the link:

Have you ever heard that, "Opposites Attract?" Jess and I have never never thought we fit that mold. We always think we are very similar personality types. When he came home and I excitedly showed him the Statistical Abstract he said, "Great, now I'm not going to get any work done." I love this man. I hope your day is statistically better than average.