THE ADVENTURES OF THE JAC ATTACK!

A Blog about a clever boy and a mom determined to out-smart him.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Update on Nothing

I'm sitting here disgustingly sweaty after an ultimately satisfying run.  It seems like running holds the link between my sanity and something else.  Our air conditioner is broken again and the house feels balmy.  Jess and I have taken turns bouncing each other around on an air mattress in our basement while we toss in our sleep.  The basement is the only room in the house even remotely cool.  Without the basement I can only think of one other way to enjoy our living space.  I'm making ice cream.  I don't think we can live without it.

We sold our kayaks to the perfect family and for a good price.  The price was less important.  I just needed to know they were going to someone who would experience the wonder of the water.  The family had two kids ages nine and ten.  The kids each tested the kayaks and the parents excitedly promised the kayaks would be wet that very day.

I have to get a root canal on Friday.  I can't believe.  I'm too young to have a root canal.  I'm too young to have a toddler.  I'm too young to be married but I'm definitely not too young to move to Kathmandu.  We're on our way soon and I can't wait to see our packers.  Actually I can't wait to stay in a nice hotel for a week while we wait for our flight.  I'm going to the pool every day.  I'm not cooking.  I'm not cleaning.

Finally, we had an earthquake.  I'm sure you heard about it on the news.  It was absolutely marvelous.  I was standing in my front yard and heard a deep low rumble.  The fence started moving and the earth rolled.  I ran for the basement and hauled JAC outside.  He was terrified but in a few short hours JAC and his dad slept contentedly curled together through an aftershock. 

The Bible says, "The very earth groans in protest..."  I heard the earth groan.  The earth expelled some subtle power and a suiting reminder that even so close to the World's most powerful capital, God is still in control.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Jenn

I made another apron and I think it turned out extra cute.  It was a gift for my good friend Jenn.  She has encouraged me and inspired me to be a better person.  It was so much fun to make something special just for her.  Her kitchen is yellow and gray.  I hope this apron fits right in.  I have a few more aprons to complete before we move so I better start sewing.  The Connelly's will be on a flight to Nepal in a few short weeks.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Does...

Does your kid ever:

1. look at you when you are giving him a lecture and then proceed to make exaggerated snoring sounds because you are so boring.

2. Look at you when you ask him why he rubbed poo all over the wall and say, "I paint!"

3. Randomly lean over and lick you for no apparent reason at all.

4. Chase the dog around the yard with a deep sea fishing pool while you stand on the roof of your car hoping to get cell phone reception

5. Sing really loudly and off key in church while using a group of pencils as a microphone

6. Break down in screaming tears when you forget to buckle his carseat - apparently he is very safety conscious - apparently I am mother of the year

7. Tell every visitor to our house about mom catching the oven on fire

8. Know exactly how to spell one word - P-A-R-K! and often shouts it loudly while in his bed refusing to sleep.

Nope...those things are all JAC.  He's an original sort of boy and I love him so much.

Friday, August 19, 2011

A Cut

Here's a cute picture of both my guys getting haircuts.  I think they are a cut above the rest or perhaps even cut from the same cloth.  The world is such a better place when you have a great posse to keep you company.  Who is in your posse today?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Measuring Time.

Living with a child is a constant reminder of your own ever increasing age.  I can't believe how big he is getting.  I just finished mopping up both bathrooms.  Left momentarily unattended JAC flooded our upstairs bathroom.  The water seeped through the floor and in turn flooded the basement bathroom as well.  This added more sopping wet towels to my never ending mountain of laundry.

Last night I completed the chore I have been avoiding for almost four years.  I cleaned out under my bed.  Let me stop hear for a public service announcement.  Do not store stuff under your bed.  It is a horrible idea.  Your husband will walk in and find you covered in dust, hair, and clumps of dust bunnies while you attempt to retrieve lost items using your kitchen broom.  It was disgusting and really embarrassing.

While there were some really disturbing items under the bed most of the junk was my ever growing collection of books.  Books seem to mate and multiply in my house.  As I cleaned and sorted each book I couldn't help but grow a bit sentimental.  My life's course over the last four years could be charted through book titles.

Our books will not be making the trip to Kathmandu.  I have placed them in platoons of like titles as they await new homes.  There is the colossal stack of parenting books which span the gambit of acceptable parenting the behavior.  I own Positive Discipline, Dare to Discipline, Train Up Your Child, and a great Dog Training book I used to train JAC.  This just names a few.

I have a group of travel type writing from Michener to Theroux.  I like to read those books late at night when Jess was off working in worlds far away.  Speaking of worlds far away, I have a small collection of books about Afghanistan. Can I entice anyone to read Ghost Wars, or The Sewing Circles of Herat?

I have a pile of bible studies and books on theology.  I have controversial books like Blue Like Jazz and lesser known titles like Experiencing God.  Of course the largest pile contains my collections of novels.  There are some really great novels.  These are the books that transported me on bad days.  How could you read A River Runs Through Through It and not wish to live in Missoula?  Of course there are some terrible novels that made me wish for my money back.  Water For Elephants made me want to gag!

All of these books need a new home.  Stop by the Connelly house and I'll give you a stack.  Perhaps some day when you're covered in dust bunnies evaluating your life you will smile and think of a great book that thrilled or inspired you.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Siblings

Most siblings love each other and some siblings love each other a lot but I think all siblings like to torture each other just a little bit.  JAC doesn't have a sibling.  He has a dog but their relationship often resembles the one I have with my brother.

This week JAC and I went and received our last three vaccines.  JAC was tough and there was only a limited amount of drama.  He wiped away his tears and immediately asked for his candy.  Thanks to potty training that kid practically lives off of candy. 

Today we needed to take the dog to the vet.  JAC was dawdling and I finally yelled, "Come On!  We have to take the dog to the dog doctor."  JAC continued to hesitate but when I said, "Roxy needs shots," JAC was practically gleeful.  He chased Roxy around cornering her and shouting, "We give you shots!"




Like most dogs Roxy hates her bath.  She whimpers and makes a great fuss.  JAC is fascinated by the process and will pull a chair over to help.  He dumps water on her head, and she looks at him with long woeful eyes.

After her bath Roxy races around the house rubbing her head in the carpet trying to dry it.  Later I looked over and JAC was running around with his head on the ground and butt in the air.  When I gave him a sideways look he looked straight at me and said, "I'm Roxy!"


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

All Good Things

"All good things must come to an end."  Don't you wish the saying was, "All bad things come to an end?"  My family came for a visit this weekend.  Now they are gone and the house is a bit more lonely.  There is nothing quite like the hole in your heart after your mom steps on a plane for a very long trip.

We had a great time together.  I ate too much.  I'll never understand how the presence of people sharing my DNA inspires me to stuff my face.  We also celebrated my sister Lady graduating from University.  I am so of her.  She overcame so many obstacles that would have caused a weaker person to quit.

I took my family to our favorite kayaking spot.  We kayaked through the rain and watched Bald Eagles.  Sadly, this will be our last kayaking adventure.  We are selling the kayaks because they are too big to ship to Kathmandu.  The kayaks might be my favorite worldly possession and it feels gut wrenching to let them go.  I try to remind myself that it is just, "A Thing."  Nevertheless, I hope someone wonderful gets to enjoy them.  I hope some other little boy sits in our kayaks pointing at turtles and snakes - begging to use the paddle. 

Today has been a hard day for a billion reasons but anytime you leave a place you love there are hard days.  I hope your day has been great and if you're in the market for a kayak let me know.






Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Surprise!

A few weeks ago Jess taught JAC how to tell me "Happy Birthday!"  Now JAC tells me almost every day.  Jess also taught JAC to say "Surprise!"  Lately I've been trying to teach JAC that not all surprises are good.  For instance, JAC jumping out from under a mountain of pillows and yelling, "Surprise!" is cute.  This is a good surprise.  Walking into JAC's room post nap and discovering the guts of his toy dog strewn all over the room is a bad surprise. It doesn't matter how enthusiastically he yells, "Surprise."  Anything involving poo is also considered a bad surprise.

Today I put out a fire in my house.  To understand this story you must understand I have an ancient oven.  I believe it might have been crafted by slave labor during the time of Moses.  This oven must be lit every use and when the gas is ignited the oven sounds a gigantic, "Whesh!"

The top of the oven bakes.  The bottom of the oven broils.  It has two doors and two compartments.  Last night I broiled some garlic toast, started talking to my neighbor and burnt the toast to a crisp.  In a hurry, I simply turned the broiler off and slammed the oven door.  I forgot to take the toast out but today a few minutes after throwing in some tater tots to bake I remembered my toast.  The kitchen filled with black smoke was a good hint.  I opened the broiler door and the toast had flames jumping off of it.  I of course put the fire out and dumped the charred toast on the back porch.

Flaming toast is a bad surprise.  Now JAC has spent most of the day walking around repeating, "Mom made fire - fire bad!"  There is nothing quite like a two year old reminding you of your cooking mishaps.  I hope your day has been equally surprising.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Perfect Timing

I just sat down with a hot bowl of soup and some warm garlic toast.  I am mentally begging my son to nap.  I want an hour of quiet while I try to prevent the chaos of our house from migrating to my brain.  We have less than 30 days until our move and every element of our life seems to be in movement.  Our "To - Do" list has 35 items left and every time I turn around a new item has been added.

The moving company came last night and conducted our pre-move survey.  They estimated the total weight of our belongings and provided instructions for moving day.  We are still culling down our belongings in preparation for our relocation.  I am growing addicted to Craig's List and finding new things to sell every day.  There is a part of me that wants to sell it all.  There is something so appealing about walking away, nothing in hand and just stepping off into the unknown unhindered.

JAC and I finally had a half-good run today.  All year I have been plagued by horrible fatigue.  I called my dad - he's a college track coach - and discussed the problem.  We both came to the same conclusion.  JAC is finally getting too heavy.  He weighs almost 40 pounds and pushing that much weight five miles, over rolling hills leaves me totally exhausted.  We will be selling our running stroller before we leave.  It is not a practical choice for Nepal and it suddenly seems like perfect timing. 

Over the weekend our cable box completely quit working.  I called and canceled our service yesterday.  We won't have cable in our new home so it is a good time to adjust.  Like so many things lately, it seems like perfect timing.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Icecream

Sometimes the best birthday present is the one you buy yourself.  I used my birthday money and purchased an ice cream maker.   This is no ordinary ice cream maker.  The machine requires no ice. 

We knew we wanted to take an ice cream maker to Nepal but the more I thought about it the more I questioned our abilities to find large quantites of ice in Nepal.  I did some research and found an machine that requires no ice at all but it does require a little extra preparation.  The mixing bowl that the ice cream  is churned in must first be placed in the freezer for six hours.  It is also recommended that the mixture be chilled in the refrigerator.


I made our first batch of ice cream over the weekend and it was awesome!  It tasted even better the next day.  I love our new gadget but I think the biggest fan might be JAC.  That boy loves ice cream and of course he is enthralled with all machines.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Very Hot Ball Game





Friday night we went to a very HOT baseball game. Temperatures neared 100 degrees and the air was stagnate in the concrete stadium.  I just looked through the pictures and everyone seems wet with sweat.  Our good friends joined us and we had a great time.  I'm not sure if anyone was able to watch the game.  We spent a good bit of time wrestling with our kids and made our retreat to the car at the bottom of the seventh.  I know it might be easier to just stay home but that is not our style.  If there is an experience to be had we're off to give it a try - even a very hot, baseball game.  Let's Go Nats! 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Notes on Church

Church has been extra fun lately.  Two of my good friends each have little girls around a year old and I have had the pleasure of their company on our pew.  A few years ago I would have cringed at the idea of hanging out with babies but God has a way of changing our hearts.  Both these little girls are delightful and I am glad their mothers are willing to let them spend time with me.

I'm always looking for ways to entertain the occupants of our pew.  Yesterday in a pinch I dug through the baby bag and found some dental floss.  The dentist gave it to me on my last visit and I snapped off two lengths of floss.  I used our the Fruit Loops from our snack and created necklaces.  JAC loved the project and quietly sat on the pew helping his dad string lengths of sugared cereal.

I'm sure the dentist would be chagrined to know that I use the floss to create sugar laden necklaces for small children but it worked in a pinch.  We did the project today on our kitchen floor and it was a good opportunity to practice colors, patterns and fine motor skills. 



Have you come up with a creative solution to a nagging problem lately?  Are you an Awesome Auntie or Wonder Mom who has great secrets to quiet child entertainment?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Curiosity Killed the Mom

I wanted a curious child.  I enjoy spending time with curious people and consider it repugnant to spend a day with  a person who lacks an inquisitive mind.  To foster JAC's curiosity I have spent hours explaining things to JAC, pointing out things of interest and asking him questions.  My parenting may have backfired once again.  I might have reached my limits of curiosity.

JAC has started asking the same three questions dozens of times each day.  While at first it was cute, now it is driving me bonkers!

JAC wants to know the origin of every sound.  Any noise merits him asking, "Sound mom - what's that sound?"  This is especially irritating on a hot run.  While pushing a 40 pound stroller I pause mid pant to explain car sounds, truck sounds, bug sounds, and construction sounds.

JAC constantly asks, "What choo doing?"  He also asks, "What's he doing" or "What dad doing."  A few days ago I had to give a detailed explanation about the men cleaning out our sewer.  Today he queried me about the activities of our local food truck vendors.

JAC frequently locates me and says, "Come see mom!"  His request is so heartfelt and brimming with enthusiasm I can hardly resist.  JAC drags me to the window to view every bird, bus or bug he sees.  By mid morning I feel inclined to shout, "Please just let me drink my coffee in peace!"

Monday, August 1, 2011

Economics

A few weeks ago we hit a wall in potty training.  Every attempt to get JAC to sit on the potty was an instant battle.  Things were going so badly that I was having nightmares about potty training.  We were offering JAC lots of encouragement and Skittles as a reward.  For weeks JAC received Skittles and for weeks he remained unmotivated.

Finally, one night I went to a friends house and consoled myself with a huge bag of Reece's Pieces.  I talked things over with my friend and returned home with the remnants of my half eaten bag of candy.  The following day JAC used his potty after a colossal protest.  Exhausted and grabbed two Reece's Pieces out of the bag to reward him.  JAC threw the candy in his mouth and it worked like magic.  He started using his potty on command.

All I can guess is that after months of Skittles he was sick of them.  I changed up our routine a tiny bit and a near miracle happened.  That my friends, is a real life example of The Law of Diminishing Returns.  Or possibly an example that everyone has a price.