THE ADVENTURES OF THE JAC ATTACK!

A Blog about a clever boy and a mom determined to out-smart him.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Great Falls

Date Night!


My parents came for a quick visit over the Holiday weekend. We loved having them here for so many reasons but towards the top has to be date night. Every time my parents come to visit they watch JAC while we go out on a date.

This was one of our best dates ever. We rode our bikes seven miles to a restaurant on the Potomac River. The weather was gorgeous, the food was great and being on a bike again just added to the overall sense of freedom. I felt like I was breaking all of the rules and I loved it. I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Oh...and I think my parents wore JAC out. We put him down for a nap in the afternoon and he slept straight through the night.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Christmas



One of my favorite things about my husband is his willingness to get into a little trouble. When we were first married we almost got kicked out of our apartment for shooting bottle rockets off the balcony. It was my idea but he didn't hesitate to implement it. A little trouble keeps life more exciting.

Jess was in Iraq for Christmas. His team included a surly sergeant who loved to ride Harleys. Jess and I were missing each other and our common love of trouble and we hatched a plan.

I got on Walmart.com and shipped him a huge inflatable Santa riding a motorcycle. (Walmart will ship directly to an APO address. This is an easy way to ship presents to troops.) In Iraq most Army buildings are surrounded by huge concrete walls called T-walls. These walls are ten feet high and protect the buildings from explosions.

Jess and his buddy waited for the surly sergeant to chow and inflated the Santa on the T-wall. The sergeant was really surprised when he returned from chow and eventually even rigged ropes to keep Santa from floating away in a desert dust storm. Santa was such a fixture on post that he earned honorable mention in briefings as an "unauthorized breach of airspace."

It was a silly stunt but it was great to feel like I still had my partner in crime around. Happy Memorial Day friends.

In Honor of Memorial Day

In honor of Memorial Day I'll be posting some soldier stories. That's not actually an accurate description. I will be posting stories about my life married to a soldier. Hopefully they will be poignant and fun.

Last week my neighbor left for Iraq. This is his second tour. He served his first tour almost seven years ago. Stop and think for a moment. We have been at war for almost a decade. So many families have grieved and struggled. So many relationships have been tested. What I grieve for is the year we lost. Our year apart left us with separate experiences and no common language to describe them. We both grew so much in that year yet barely discuss it. There are those quiet moments of loneliness when you understand that lost year is an experience you will never truly share with your best friend.

Happy Memorial Day to our troops. Happy Memorial Day to the families of troops. Happy Memorial Day to average every day Americans who enjoy freedoms earned on the back of another.

Please go to a parade. Have a cookout. Embrace your family or a neighbor. Live honorably this weekend as a personal sacrifice in remembrance to those who willingly sacrificed so much.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Couple Friends

It's hard to find good couple friends. It seems like the stars have to align to find the perfect fit. To complicate our search, we don't like to spent any money so to be our friend you have to enjoy cheap stuff.

We finally tricked a couple into our cheap ways. Yesterday we met our friends Matt and Jayna at a local lake. I brought breakfast burritos and they brought juice. We ate a quick breakfast and then went on a four mile walk around the lake. I think we all had a great time.

I love the morning and was glad spend time with fellow morning enthusiasts. The morning is often the best time to spot animals and we saw a huge turtle, a hawk and a disgusting snake on our walk. Even the kids seemed to enjoy the walk. JAC rode in his stroller and their little girl snoozed in her backpack.

Our short walk also gave us time to negotiate a babysitting schedule. Good babysitters are almost impossible to find. I don't think high school kids babysit anymore. We worked out a trade. We alternating months so each couple gets 6 dates a year. I think Matt and Jayna are going to be the perfect couple friends. They seem to embrace the cheap.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Why?

Why does my child become demon possessed when we are trying to get ready for church? He's in timeout and I'm taking full advantage of the moment to write about the highlight of my week.

On Tuesday Jess called from work and asked if I wanted to go on an adventure for dinner. I love adventure and readily agreed. I spent the whole afternoon attempting to contain my excitement and using all my mental energy trying to guess what the adventure was.

Jess arrived home early with a Craig's List print out in hand. I've been asking for a bike for months and Jess had found two awesome mountain bikes for sale. We loaded up the car and went to check them out. I was so excited that I insisted we leave early.

The bikes were perfect. They were even red which is my preferred color of bike. We got a little discount for buying both bikes and we're now scouring Craig's list for a child's trailer for JAC and Roxy. I can't wait to take some family bike rides.

Let me break this story down for you.
1. My husband remember I wanted a bike.
2. My husband found me a perfect bike in the perfect color.
3. My husband knows my love of adventure and built up some excitement.

4. I pretty much have the best husband ever...I love this guy.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Celebrate...

Jess has guard duty once a month and JAC and I are left to our own devices. He's a brave man to leave us alone. We're two animals of the same kind and likely to get into some trouble.

I used to mope when Jess was out of town but now I attempt to celebrate. Saturday morning JAC slept and I both slept in exhausted from a night of wild square dancing. When we both finally crawled out of bed I took one look at JAC and knew we needed an adventure. We headed to the Air Show.

Feel free to judge us. I know Air Shows might be considered dorky but I love planes and helicopters of all types. I'm pretty sure JAC does too.

The Air Show was at Andrew's Air Force Base so we first had to drive to end of the metro, park and catch a shuttle on base. I now have a firm belief that the armed forces should run TSA. Every person had to have their bags checked and go through a metal detector. Despite thousands of people we were through security in a mere five minutes. It was one efficient process.

When we arrived at the show JAC and I walked around checking out the different aircraft. I was very impressed but JAC seemed most interested in the puddles until the helicopter show started. I love helicopters. Someday I want to learn to fly a helicopter and the show was amazing. Four helicopters streaked by doing well coordinated aerial stunts.

Next we watched the Golden Knight parachuting team. They landed perfectly every time. I also learned that there are females on the team. That has got to be one of the coolest jobs on earth.

JAC and I had a great time. JAC was such a little trooper. He probably walked over a mile checking out the aircraft and events. He even skinned his knee but ripped the band aides off immediately disgusted. He was way too tough for band aides. He's such a cool kid.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Friday Adventure

Every Friday I try to take JAC on an adventure. It's my way of celebrating a week completed without shaking my child or locking him in a closet.

This Friday two of my elementary aged buddies invited us to a barn dance at their school. I put on my best squaring dancing skirt, loaded up JAC and headed to the event. When we arrived there were swarms of children. They were sprawled throughout the gym and the square dance caller was just about to get started.

JAC and I joined the fun. We dosey doed. We Virgina reeled. We did the gorilla rap and we had an absolute blast.

I thought kids would think square dancing was completely uncool but they ate it up. Cheerful dads danced with daughters while mom's snapped pictures. Awkward fifth grade boys paired up with equally awkward girls.

This dance was a great reminder. JAC was very unexpected and it has taken a lot of personal growth for me to get used to the idea of being a parent but it is totally worth it. Having children gives you permission to be a kid again. You get to enjoy all those goofy things that you thought you had outgrown - like dancing like a gorilla. It was the perfect way to spend a Friday night and I couldn't stop smiling.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Smell

Every Sunday members of our church volunteer to pick up people from the metro and drive them to church. I volunteered to drive because I love meeting new people and this Sunday was my turn.

While JAC napped on Saturday I detailed every inch of our car. I must have vacuumed up a cereal box worth of discarded Cheerios. I also scrubbed the hard surfaces with Lysol and sprayed the soft surfaces with Fabreeze.

Our car was a complete wreck and it took almost two hours to complete the job but when I finished our car looked nearly perfect. I felt guaranteed that any future passengers would appreciate my hard work.

Sunday morning I opened the car doors and was met by a horrible smell. Our car smelled like a giant fart. I searched for the cause of the mysterious odor and found nothing. The car actually smelled worse than it did before I cleaned it.

I have searched several times for the cause of the odor and have now decided all the vacuuming and cleaning must have stirred up the dormant odor from the floorboards. Unable to remedy the problem, I forced all the Sunday passengers to ride with the windows down all the way to church. I am sure they are still chagrined in remembering their ride in the Fart Mobile.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The Haunting

Do you have a teacher who still haunts you to this day? I do. Mrs. Gilbreth was my 11Th grade English teacher and she was deeply dedicated to producing competent ant writers. She particularly hated "To Be Verb," and deducted one point for every "To Be Verb," in your essay.

"To Be Verbs" include am, is, are, was, were, be, being, and been. These eight words haunt me every time I write. I re-read my post and grow instantly dissatisfied when I see the offending verbs. I typically attempt to ignore them but most days I find myself editing and re-writing in an hoping to rid myself of them.

Despite my English class nightmares I feel very thankful for the committed teachers of my past especially Mrs. Gilbreth. I just wish her lessons on how to properly use commas had equally impacted me.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Finally...




I'm finally getting around to writing about Mother's Day. It was a perfect day. It was also a perfect weekend.

I tend to be a little selfish about my special days. If I could celebrate my birthday for a month, I would. Luckily, I married Jess. Jess is a hopeless romantic who doesn't have a selfish bone in his body.

I knew exactly what I wanted for Mother's day. I wanted to go for a run, eat buckwheat pancakes at Mancinni's and receive flowers from the grocery store. I was so determined to get my way that I kind of forced it on everyone else. I barked and ordered until the clan was out the door for our run. I forced everyone to eat brunch at Mancini's sweaty because if we took the time to shower brunch might be over. Jess patiently obliged me and even trudged through an antique store with me post brunch. After brunch I bailed on the guys and did some recreational shopping.

On Sunday I had nursery duty at church and I pouted. In protest I refused to dress up and instead wore jeans to church. Jess was patient as I ranted about how much I hate nursery duty. He knew he had a special surprise planned for me.

When we got home from church we put JAC in bed for a nap and Jess started poring through my cookbooks. He had decided he was going to make me Sunday dinner and he went all out. It wasn't an easy feat because my cookbooks are ancient. I had to explain what Oleo was. We were also entirely out of food in the house but it didn't phase Jess one bit. He headed out to the grocery store list in hand. When he returned he brought me flowers and had JAC give them to me. Then he banished me to the living room and started cooking his surprise.

He made and appetizer. He made chicken and asparagus with a creamy sauce for the main course. He finished it off with a chocolate banana cream pie that was absolutely fantastic. He even did the dishes. I felt so special. It really was the perfect mother's day.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

When I Wasn't Looking

Lately I've noticed that JAC is getting really smart. I'm not sure if it is because he is getting older or if I am just paying better attention but JAC has started catching me off guard. Let me give you just a few examples.

Jess and I have this dorky fist bump thing we do. It is like our secret handshake and we do it all the time. Two days ago I gave Jess a fist bump while holding JAC. Then JAC put out his little fist for a bump too. He'll do it on cue now.

I've never been a big kisser. I think the whole phrase, "Kiss and makeup" is weird. Anyways, Jess and I always give JAC a kiss sandwich before he goes to bed. We each plant a kiss on JAC's cheek. This weekend after his goodnight kiss JAC leaned over and gave me a kiss in return. I didn't even prompt him.

Jess taught JAC how to brush his teeth. They finish the process by spitting in the sink. Now anytime we walk even near a sink JAC tries to spit.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mom


I had a fantastic Mother's Day. I'll write about it later but my husband never ceases to amaze me with his thoughtfulness.

Our mom's have a dynamic impact on our lives and not a day goes by when I don't remember something great about my mom. I didn't want to keep all those great things to myself so I'm sharing a few great pieces of advice that my mom has given me over the years.

1. If you have to work alway buy yourself a little something - lipstic, a five dollar clearance shirt - on payday so you won't forget why you're working.

2. If you don't feel like running but you really need to because you're feeling blue or rapidly gaining weight due to gluttony, just take the first step off the curb. If you make it around the block and still feel bad you can then quit.

3. If you have to doing something unpleasant like give blood, imagine a happy place. Think of every detail. Concentrate on this happy place for the duration of the unhappy event.

4. Most recipes call for you to first mix the dry ingredient in one bowl and then mix the wet ingredients in another before combining. Instead first mix the wet ingredients in a big bowl and add the dry ingredients to the wet. It will save you from washing an extra bowl.

5. Great literature will transport you. My mom taught me how to use the library and introduced me to great books including, No Country for Old Men and the The Great Gasby.

Happy Post Mother's Day. I'm am so thankful for my Dynamic, Complex, Kind, Wonderful Mom.

Pick Your Label

I'm a registered Democrat. My husband is a registered Republican. Truthfully, this means almost nothing in our household. We would both much rather belong to the coffee party than the Tea Party. We like to drink our coffee slowly and chat about ideas and listen. The longer I live in D.C the more I wish there was a movement called Get Along rather than Move On.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I don't really fit in the current Democratic party. I'm not impassioned. I'm not on the edge of left. I found this interesting quiz. If you're looking for a label for your political beliefs take the quiz. It didn't tell me anything new but it was an interesting exercise.
http://www.nolanchart.com/survey.php

I'm mildly dismayed how unhappy many people seem. It does feel like much of the country is divided on the extremes with neither side seeing any value in the views of the other. I'm not sure what to say about this. Personally, I believe a political label does not create an identity and happiness will never be found in passion.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Friday Adventure





Jess got off work early on Friday and we headed to a nearby Potomac River bay. We hadn't checked it out yet but we had heard great things about Pohick Bay and it lived up to the hype. The setting was gorgeous and there was an impressive playground. We let JAC splash in the river and Jess tried to teach him how to skip rocks. We got home way past JAC's bed time and as we pulled into the driveway we noticed he was already asleep. Jess tucked him into bed and then we had one of the most romantic impromptu dates of the year. We cooked smores over the fire pit in our backyard and enjoyed the great weather. It was perfect.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Put Me in a Barber's Chair - Spun Me Around and I had No Hair





I had been dragging my feet about getting JAC's hair cut. I felt a sentimental attachment to those baby curls and hated to see them go. My husband didn't share my attachment and was ready for our little guy to look less like a little girl. Finally, I relented and we headed off to the barber.

I knew it wasn't going to go well but I put on a tough face and attempted to remain positive. As we waited in a short line at the barber shop JAC seemed fascinated as he watched grown men get their hair cut. I hoped this was a good sign but as we frequently say in the military, "Hope is not a plan."

Jess sat down in the barber's chair and JAC sat on his lap. The barber put black capes on both of them and began to snip away the first curls. I quickly snapped pictures and JAC quickly deteriorated into a waling ball of fury. By the end of the haircut JAC had ripped off his cape. Jess was holding JAC's arms and I was holding JAC's head still. The barber obviously bothered, kept asking me, "Is this enough." I knew I didn't want to do this again any time soon so I had him cut it short. When he was finished the curls were gone, my heart was hurt and JAC looked like a little boy not a baby.

A post-haircut blueberry sucker put a smile on JAC's face. A few days later Jess sat down and showed JAC the pictures of his hair being cut. JAC started crying and pulled on his hair. Hopefully he isn't scarred for life. I might have a long haired hippy on my hands. Happy Friday.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Haven't Written In Forever

I haven't written in forever. I'm in a blogging slump. In an effort to end the slump I'll give you a preview of possible future posts.

How many people does it take to cut a one year old's hair? At least three and I have the pictures to prove it.

We took in another National's ball game. Do you think I might become a true baseball fan?

What is the difference between discipline and dictatorship? I'll let you decide.

How fast do you have to run to be considered a runner and not a jogger? I'll give you some post race details.

And, of course, I'll write my Ode to Mother's post.

All this is coming in the near future. I promise.