Florida Rolling

I got a call last night from a good friend at work reminding me of one of my most important roles as a government employee. First, I was an expert potluck planner for all occasions to include Ramadan and secondly I provided lively and random topics for office conversation. One of our best office debates was over an issue that was under deep debate in the Florida legislature - Truck Nutz. Apparently these are a metal representation of a bull's...well you know, that can hang off your truck. While one Florida legislator felt this truck accessory was obscene another felt he had an inherent right to own a pair in order to express his "truckliness." My friend called me last night to say she had spotted a pair dangling from a van driving in front of her. I'm not sure how you feel about this issue but feel free to read about the details. (http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/04/28/florida-kicks-truck-nutz/) I personally would never want to denie someone the chance to express their "truckliness."

About two weeks ago a study was released on HIV/AIDS in the US. The study listed Washington DC as having a 3 percent infection rate which is greater than that of West Africa. This made my stomach roll a bit. Later that week I heard the DC Health Commissioner state that this was actually a good thing because it demonstrated that DC's efforts to HIV test were more successful and that DC tested more people than most large cities to include testing all inmates in the city jail. I found this concerning because if DC does test more than average, the nationwide numbers of infected people are actually higher than what is reported. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by American denial. Instead of calling a spade a spade the media, television, public schools curriculum, continues to portray non-monogamous sex as fun and harmless and in the meantime we keep watching and incidents of sexually transmitted diseases continue to rise. I feel like we have all willingly accepted the idea that great sex is a true indicator of great love and this makes me sad because I feel we are capable of deeper and more fulfilling things.

To end this post on a more positive note, I had a great thing happen yesterday. I had put JAC on his stomach for his 15 minutes of doctor mandated tummy time. JAC hates to be on his stomach and screams for the entire 15 minutes. After putting him on his stomach I ran downstairs to put on my running clothes. When I came upstairs the screaming seemed louder than usual and it turned out JAC had flipped himself over! I was so excited. I put him back on his stomach and watched as he rolled over again. I cheered and cheered and I think JAC could tell he had done well. My friend Janet laughed and said, "This is the beginning of great praise for ordinary things." JAC is getting more fun and I can't wait to watch him crawl.

Jihad

I have decided to launch my own holy war against the squirrels consuming all of the bird seed from my feeder. Two days ago I woke up early with my cup of coffee and went to the window to watch my birds only to see a huge squirrel perched on my feeder gorging itself. Shocked, I pushed Roxy outside to defend our territory. She was rearing to go and raced out the door. I was sure she shared in my fervor for this quest but was dismayed to see her take off in the wrong direction to bark at the neighbors. Roxy's confusion seemed more apparent when later in the day I caught her running and jumping trying to catch birds near my feeder in mid-air flight. I discussed this with Jess and he is sure the squirrel ls have cut some kind of deal with Roxy - promising to push little bits of bird seed down to her if she lets them eat at the feeder too. This really could be true because one day I caught her eating birdseed I had left on our front step and on another occasion she had to be banished from my vegetable garden because she was following behind me digging up the seeds I had just planted so she could eat them. Despite Roxy's lack of enthusiasm for our Jihad against the squirrels I have scoured the Internet to find a solution. Check out the links below. One feeder flings the squirrels off and the other gives them a little shock. I think it is pretty funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydLiasdJeoo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NocRG3r2zBw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNPl8P8bfZ4

On a completely unrelated note, Jess got word this week that he has finally made CPT in the Army National Guard. This is a big deal for Jess and I'm proud of him so make sure you congratulate him if you see him.

New Day with Science

I am frankly embarrassed about yesterday's post and hoping that no one read it. I feel like I have allowed myself to become quite the whiner and I resolving to be stronger and more positive. Yesterday I was once again reminded what a good husband I have. He came home and was very sympathetic about my bad day. He also took care of JAC all evening and made me a wonderful dinner of frozen margaritas and tater tots. It was awesome and I am very thankful for such a fun husband and friend.

Since I don't sleep as much as I used to I have more time to ponder and "research" things. When JAC was born I bought a subscription to Newsweek and I use it as a springboard for topics to ponder. Today I am pondering the role of family in faith.

When my grandparents were here a few weeks ago we went to the newly remodeled Museum of American History. Hidden in the basement was an exhibit on how science has played a role in our history. This exhibit was my favorite but a section of the exhibit was dedicated to the "The Pill." It lauded The Pill as a scientific discovery that freed women, gave them more control, allowed them to enter the work place and become more equal to men. While I was initially taken aback that there would be an exhibit on The Pill in a museum visited by large numbers of school children I had to agree that birth control has in many ways improved women's' lives across the world. Jess and I have had many conversations about perhaps not have any more children and instead just being satisfied with our little JAC but there is a movement that thinks about birth control and children in a completely different way. This movement is called the "Quiverfull." (Read more about it at http://www.newsweek.com/id/189763/page/2). The movement does not believe in birth control and instead believes that every child is a blessing - an arrow used in the Christian faith. It also believes that motherhood is the most important thing that a woman can do. The more extreme followers of the Quiverfull movement have gone as far as to imply that the Christian faith has been held back by birth control and that having more christian children would essentially result in more warriors for Christ. The Quiverfull movement is a stark contrast to the Feminist movement and each extreme has its drawbacks. For instance, the rise of the Feminist movement also resulted in fewer mothers at home raising children and perhaps less respect for the stay at home mom. The Quiverfull movement could also put a huge financial strain on a family not ready feed and take care of 10 plus kids. I feel like there should be some middle ground and I'm choosing to focus on quality of child rearing at the moment instead of quantity but I don't judge others who make a different choice. It seems like motherhood is changing drastically from what it was in the past and many Americans are still trying to get their footing. Science has allowed much older mom's to get pregnant, and women to have multiple children but it has also allowed for women to opt out of motherhood completely. I just stop and wonder with a nation leaning so heavily on science, will the results eventually lead us to lean more heavily on God?

In other matters science - I have always felt that JAC looked like Jess and most of my family members agree. I've even been a bit disappointed that he doesn't look more like me. I was given hope that this might change because I had a friend suggested that it was a scientific fact that all babies look like their Dad's when they are born as a survival mechanism. If a baby looked more like their dad then their dad would be more likely to claim their progeny. I've done a little research and this does not appear to be true. Babies do not look more like their dads but instead their moms are more likely to suggest they look like their dads and this power of suggestion helps fuel the connection between dad and child. In other words the moms have an invested interest in the dad believing the child looks like them and so they subconsciously plant the suggestion. Here's a link if you want to read more about it. (http://communities.canada.com/vancouversun/blogs/parenting/archive/2009/02/13/why-babies-look-more-like-dad-than-mom.aspx). I am slightly disappointed but mostly glad. My husband is a handsome guy and I'm happy JAC will look like him.

Hiding Bracketts

Well friends and family, I am ashamed to admit it but I am hiding from my baby. I spent an excruciatingly long Monday listening to him scream and trying everything I could to remedy whatever the cause might be. I have fed him ( I think 5 times but I'm too tired to remember). I have changed him. I have sung to him. I have attempted to play with him. I have moved his legs back in forth. I have cuddled him, rocked him and finally cried and now for the next 15 minutes I have given up, and I'm sitting in the basement where the sound of the crying is more muffled. I have read other mothers' blogs, myspace and facebook pages and have found the never ending goo of motherhood happiness nauseating. Today I have decided to admit that for the next ten minutes I don't want to be a mom - primarily because I'd like to hear some other new mom admit that too.

JAC turned three months old on Friday and time has moved so fast that my mom actually had to call and remind me so I wouldn't forget to take the usual birthday pictures. To celebrate the occasion I made margaritas and chocolate cake and Jess and I sat on the couch catching up on college basketball. I don't love watching college basketball but I love March Madness. Every year Jess and I both fill out brackets and see who does better at predicting the outcome. This year we're neck and neck. Jess took an early lead due to my poor picks in the Midwest division but my chances got a lot better when Jess' pick to when the whole thing (OSU) tanked. I picked Memphis to when the tournament so I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

JAC reached a major baby milestone early Saturday morning. I have been practicing rolling over with him for a couple of weeks and while I slept on Saturday morning Jess was playing with JAC and he rolled over! When I woke up and he told me I was really surprised and a little disappointed that I had missed it. While Jess was in the shower I tried to get JAC to roll over again to no avail. It seems like Jess had the magic touch and I'm glad that he gets to claim a minor parenting victory but I'm a little disappointed too because I wanted to be there to see him roll over for the first time.

Yesterday the weather was finally really nice. After church Jess and I decided to take JAC to the zoo. Apparently most of DC had the same idea and all of the zoo parking lots were full. We decided to retreat and instead drove around our favorite neighborhood eating fast food. When we returned home Jess went on an 8 mile run while JAC and I planted our first vegetable garden in the back yard. I've never planted a vegetable garden but I treating this like a science experiment and hoping for the best.

Finally, work called today and reminded me that I have to come in and out process. Ugg! When I asked them how long it would take they suggested all day and perhaps several more days during the week. This has left me scrambling for a sitter and thankful for a cadre of friends willing to volunteer.

And now readers....I am going upstairs to try to comfort JAC so he'll stop crying.

Homesick

It is raining here again and we are stranded because our SUV (lovingly nicknamed "Big Red") is in the shop getting her yearly inspection. As I was sitting and drinking my coffee I thought about Christmas this year and how special it was. We had just brought JAC home and the housed was crammed full of people I love. I was exhausted and at the time didn't realize how special this time was but now I look back at it with warm fondness. I remember my big brother holding my tiny baby in the sun streaming through our kitchen windows so JAC wouldn't have Jaundice. I remember my dad holding little JAC every opportunity that he could. I remember sweet Lady telling me "I looked great - like I had never had a baby," even though I was 50 pounds overweight and I remember her quietly giving advice but never interfering. I remember my looking up baby care videos on the Internet even though she has four kids of her own and knew what to do. I remember my mom cooking me soup when I was exhausted and telling me, "Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you're not still my baby too." I will cherish all of these memories forever.

This year my family gave me wonderful Christmas presents. My awesome husband remembered how much I love new clothes and bought me happy pajamas I could wear despite being overweight. He also got me cookbooks I could use to try new recipes while I was home with JAC. One of my favorite gifts was from my mom. She bought me a day calendar full of pictures of the West. Even though I love D.C every day I miss the mountains in my home state of New Mexico. The calendar has pictures taken by John Gavrilis(www.gavrilisphotography.com) and my favorites are of the San Juan mountains. I did some camping and kayaking in the San Juan mountains growing up and still to this day can think of no place I love quite as much. Looking through the pictures today I feel very homesick for Rocky Mountains. I have always felt that the Rockies seems wild and free and I love that feeling.

The calendar also reminded me of my good friend Sara. We're running buddies, both from New Mexico and she shares my love for the mountains. Getting to know her this year has been a huge gift because I admire her so much. She is quiet and sweet but very very strong and has an amazing ability for making smart logical decisions. She also loves my son despite his crying through several of our running dates. I can't help but think that if JAC had not come into our lives I would have never gotten to know Sara. I continue to find it amazing how much God has blessed our life through that little guy. JAC wasn't planned but I am slowly beginning to realize he is the best thing that ever happened to us.

A Great Day!

I have felt very discouraged about staying home with JAC. It seemed like every day was filled with screaming and JAC rarely seemed to smile or be happy. My good friend Leigh who has a nearly two year old kept telling me, "Hang in there when you get to five months you'll suddenly have a good day and it will all be worth it." Today I got extra lucky and didn't have to wait 3 more months for a good day. I woke up groggy and feeling kind of depressed. We had gray skies again and I hate Mondays because Jess is back to work. I was grateful that JAC slept in and I could enjoy my coffee and struggle through my Bible study. When JAC started crying about an hour later I felt an overwhelming sense of dread. I did not want to do another day with a screaming baby and a dirty house. I waited until he was pretty worked up and then went and got him. I put him on his changing table ready to change his diaper and then a I got a great surprise - JAC looked up and smiled. Encouraged, I started trying different things to keep him happy. I danced around, sang funny songs, and made every funny noise I could think of. He loved it. He smiled and made squawking noises in reply. We played for almost an hour. I had thought he was crying earlier because he was hungry but actually he was just lonely and it turned out that jumping around singing silly songs to a baby was a great way to improve my mood too. I felt much better and JAC was really good all day. He went down for a short nap and I did a quick work out video using cans of vegetables as hand weights since I don't own dumb bails. He woke up, ate and didn't mind happily playing on his own while I rushed around prepping for dinner and cleaning our very dirty house.

Later I put JAC in the stroller and and we went for a run and I felt great. In my rush to get out the door I left Roxy behind in the yard and she barked in dismay. After running 2.5 miles I swung back around and picked her up. She was jubilant and took off in a dead sprint! I ran as fast as I could and she pulled us for half a mile. It was fun to run fast and I felt joyful watching Roxy enjoying the run. JAC slept through most of the run so I decided we would keep walking around the neighborhood. During our walk we met another really nice mom walking her dog and it was great to talk to someone else. Finally we made our way home and I pulled JAC out of the stroller and left it parked in the front yard. Roxy stayed outside and after a few minutes I looked outside and noticed she was guarding her stoller. She was sitting right next to it and wouldn't even leave her post to bark at the birds eating at our feeder - one of her favorite pastimes. She stayed right with the stroller until I came and brought it in a couple of hours later. I wonder if somehow she relates the stroller with fun times running.

After church on Sunday JAC was still sleeping and Jess suggested we keep driving and enjoy the quiet time together. We went through the Popeye's Chicken drive through and just kept driving. Jess and I have always liked driving around trying to find really nice neighborhoods and on Sunday our efforts were rewarded with a true gem. We were stuck in traffic so we decided to make a quick left and get off the main road. The houses lining the main road were mainly dumpy but they were only the shabby curtain hiding a great neighborhood within. We found the Lake Barcroft community. It was a picturesque community surrounding a perfect lake to kayak on. Jess and I instantly fell in love and were disappointed that the lake was only open to people in the neighborhood. JAC starting murmuring and we made our way home but both Jess and I were entranced and agreed that owning a house near that lake was worth dreaming about. I have decided that one of the things I love best about my husband is that he is a great person to dream with. It is so comforting to spend time with someone who shares your hopes for the future.

Short

This week has been exhausting but despite all the activity I have very little to blog about. I thought I'd give a short update to keep my readers posted.

My dad's parents came for a visit this week. I had forgotten how much work entertaining can be especially with JAC around. We managed to get out and see a few DC sights and it was good practice for getting JAC out of the house more often.

JAC continues to grow and get more interesting. He has starting sucking on his fists. He'll chew on his fist for hours and if I give him one of my fingers he'll chomp down hard and chew on that too. JAC is getting more and more vocal but he does less cooing and more of a strange sound that is similar to shouting or loud talking. One day I looked back and he was hitting at his toys as hard as he could and shouting at them. In my mind he was yelling "Kill, Kill," reminiscent of bayonet training in my army days. JAC is a morning baby. He wakes up every morning smiling and ready to play. Jess will go and play with him for an hour before work while I try to catch up on sleep. I have decided that Dads are just more fun than Moms largely due to the cool sounds they can make. Jess makes all sorts of sounds at JAC and JAC loves it. Despite all my best efforts I can't make too many cool sounds and as a result Jess remains JAC's favorite. JAC is also slowly growing to be more independent. Last night we put him in his crib for his bedtime. We listened from the other room while he stayed awake for an hour not crying but instead making happy sounds at his toy elephant.

Our dog is quirky as always. Today she started scratching at the refrigerator door trying to get me to open it. I guess she has figured out that is where the good stuff is. She is such a smart little dog. This morning I put her outside and went to the basement to check email before JAC woke up. I guess I didn't hear her scratch at the front door to come back in. A few minutes later I heard scratching at the basement window and looked up to see a small shaggy dog face looking back at me hoping to be let in.

Finally the weather here continues to be disappointing. Despite a few warm days earlier in the week this morning it was snowing again. I am ready for Spring!

A Battle

Yesterday I saw first hand what a quagmire our health care system has become. This year during election while politicians debated health care reform I chafed believing this issue was primarily relevant to the uninsured in the same way that I believe the immigration debate is the primary concern of those who are here in our country illegally. Jess and I pay a considerable portion of our income towards health care and this year due to JAC we were able to put our coverage to the test. Unfortunately the results have been very disappointing. Yesterday Aetna - our insurance provider send me an explanation of bills it would be paying. As I read down the list marvelling at how expensive it is to have a kid I noticed a charge for almost three thousand dollars that Aetna was refusing to pay. I thought this was odd and the bill was not itemized so I was unsure what the charge was for. I called Aetna and after a long wait they explained that it was a charge for the delivery room they were refusing to pay. When I inquired why they explained there was a pre-arranged agreement with the hospital that they could only charge a certain amount for delivery room and the hospital had exceeded this amount resulting in Aetna refusing to pay even a portion of the bill. They also added that since the hospital had over charged I was now responsible for the entire bill for the delivery room and they would be paying nothing. When I asked how much the hospital was supposed to charge they could not give me an answer.

This whole incident has left me a bit sick to my stomach and I have started doing some research on the subject. In the past I felt the faults in our health care system were by the uninsured and now I believe it is about a complete lack of efficiency and predatory insurance companies. With the population aging this has come to a head and sparked great debate. One of the most interesting debates concerns Comparative Effectiveness Research (CER). The research simply studies a variety of treatments to determine which were most effective and recommends doctors use these treatments. For instance a 2006 study found that new schizophrenia drugs were no more effective than older ones but much more expensive. This research is spurred on by widespread disparity in the current system. For example rates of coronary bi-pass are five times higher in McAllen Texas than Pueblo Colorado. Do more patients have heart trouble in Texas or do more doctors simply recommend bi-pass as a solution.? The president allotted 1 billion to these studies in the stimulus package and naysayers are already up in arms. There is a fear that these studies are only a first step to the government dictating who gets what care. Would the government deny your 95 year old grandma a knee replacement simply because the operation is too costly to perform on a patient who will likely only live a few more years? I am unsure what the correct answer is to reforming our health care but today I feel like a victim of the process. I am angry and want something better.