Choking

My son choked today on a piece of white flour tortilla.  He was in the kitchen eating and I heard the sound from my sewing room and came running.  In an instant I was doing the Heimlich Maneuver on him.  When the tortilla was dislodged I just started laughing.  Jess stared at me in disbelief but at that moment my life felt so surreal that it was humorous.  You see, my son is an exuberant eater.  No caution seems great enough and it seems like I do the Heimlich almost once a week.  I have gotten so good at it that I don't hesitate.  In an emergency there is an amazing silence.  It is almost palpable.  Life narrows to only necessity and I find the ensuing clarity almost relaxing.

My first car was a tomato read VW bug.  It was crusted in rust and refused to start after being driven over 20 miles.  The battery would just go dead.  I became so good at jump starting that little bug that I now consider myself a jumper cable expert.  I'm proud of the skill cultivated through trial.

I am an expert with jumper cables and dislodging food.  These two skills were earned through trial.  I doubt there is another way to cultivate them.  Sometimes I like to watch JAC struggle to climb a latter on the play ground.  I watch him glance my way for help but I avert my eyes.  JAC grunts and pulls and stands triumphant at the top with new latter climbing skill intact.  I feel like I have just given him his own set of jumper cables.