Decision Making Matrix

My kid drove me absolutely bonkers yesterday.  Every time I turned around he was jumping on my back or hugging my legs and rubbing his face on my butt.  If I sat on the couch he crawled all over me and wallowed in my lap.  I seriously needed some personal space!  I tossed him in his room for a nap and shut the door.  Finally I would have an hour of peace.  A few minutes later the worst happened.  JAC knocked on his door and identified the disgusting mess he had just made.  I went bonkers. 

I have decided that I exist in a state of partial bonkers.  I just can't help it.  I went into my twice weekly cleaning frenzy and when Jess arrived home I broke down  and begged him to help me steam clean all of our carpets.  Normal families eat dinner together.  Our family spends the night cleaning carpets because mom is bonkers.

I have decided the next time I apply for a job I will write, shepherd or wild cow rustler in the section listing your previous position.  Living with a toddler is like living with a little animal and your house is the barn.  My kid occasionally even runs around the house mooing like a cow.  Sometimes I feel like I have two pets and the dog is slightly more trainable.

Last week I had to purchase new dog food.  I didn't know what to buy.  When I want to buy wine I look for the best picture on the bottle.  There in the Target Aisle  I had divine inspiration about my dog food purchase.  I looked over and there was a big with a picture of a dog that looked identical to Roxy.  I bought that bag of food.

Ever since my time in the military I have been nearly addicted to the smell of Pinesol.  The Army buys a generic version of it and the barracks constantly smell evergreen fresh.  I've decided to forgo Pinesol and instead use my wine decision making matrix to buy cleaning fluids.  Anything that says, pet odor killer, wild animal stain killer or is frequently used by the circus will be just perfect for our house!