Conversations with a Man

Jess and I are usually on the same page but every once in a while something gets lost in translation. Here are two recent examples:

This year I have lost 60lbs. Somewhere at around 30lbs I dramatically proclaimed I would never loose the baby weight and gave some of my clothes to Goodwill. As a result I really only have one pair of jeans that fit. "I need new jeans!" I whined to Jess. "Why?" he asked. "My jeans are too big," I replied. "Aren't jeans supposed to be baggy so they're extra comfy?" he inquired. The crazy thing is that he wasn't being sarcastic.

On Monday I came home from school and asked Jess what he had for dinner. Usually I put food in the crock pot for him but this Monday I didn't get around to it. Luckily I married a resourceful man. Jess said he ate steak for dinner. This really surprised me. I haven't bought steak in 6 months and I think it would take a cow dying in our front lawn for steak to be on the menu. "Where did you get steak?" I asked. "From the fridge," he replied. I just started laughing. I had a pork chop thawing in the refrigerator. Jess had cooked and ate that pork chop and thought he was eating steak the whole time. I should have just let him believe it but I couldn't help but ask, "You didn't realize you were eating white meat?" "Well, I did marinate it in Worcester sauce," he replied.