Not for the Light-Hearted.

Early tomorrow my mom will be having a hip replacement and this knowledge has left me feeling uneasy all day.  I do no fear for her life.  Hip replacements are basically routine but I do fear for the unknown pain.  My mom has suffered chronic hip pain most of my life.  Unlike many who chose to become stagnate in the face in physical pain, my mom has instead kept moving.  She kept running.  She kept playing tennis.  She kept working and volunteering.

A few months ago my mom came for a visit. She was tough but I watched her suffer silently.When the surgeon analyzed her MRI he said he had seen few pictures this dismal. I admire her strength in so many ways but it has also created a biases within me. Having witness my mom mentally fight through a war of pain my whole life I can barely stomach the gutless wonders who use it as an excuse.

Tomorrow my mom will emerge a bionic woman. A melon-sized peace of bone will be removed - replaced by metal and cement. I am in the same moment enthralled by medical science and appalled by the idea of some piece of my mother being foreign. And, I am scarred of the foreign look in her eye as she faces unknown pain through recovery.

On Tuesday JAC and I are flying to Texas to help out around the house. I will cook and clean. I will let the dogs out and help my mom learn how to walk again. I am so thankful I can help but some deep part of me had to go to Texas. I needed to witness the road to my new mom.

We are praying for something unfamiliar. We are praying that my mom will recover and live without pain. We are praying that she will not limp again. I am praying that through scars, ashen looks and therapy my mom will be made new.  I am asking for your prayers too.