Once Upon a Time

We were a two salary family and I bought a really expensive couch. I'm actually embarrassed to admit how much I paid. I love this couch and designed it from the ground up picking out fabrics, feathers and wood types. I built the whole room around the couch. I bought a rug and a chair to match. That was a long time ago.

Today JAC woke up from his nap and he wasn't happy. I was holding him and walking him around the house. I sat on the couch with my legs crossed and put him in my lap looking up at me. The craziest thing happened. JAC just lay there instead of trying to crawl away or climb up me and take my glasses. JAC never does that. I enjoyed the moment so much. I practiced making sounds and words with him. It was peaceful but I had my suspicions that things were not quite right. I avoided reality and lived in the moment. I was nice to have a calm kid who wanted to hang out with me. I should have just faced reality. JAC was stinky - really stinky. I went to change his diaper and discovered there was poo everywhere. It was all over JAC and all over my lap. I wrestled JAC down and changed his diaper. I discarded our clothes in the wash and carried him back to the living room. That's when I discovered it. There was a gigantic blob of poo on my beloved couch. It must have exploded from his diaper. Gross. Disgusting. I madly cleaned it up and dumped half a bottle of disinfectant on my couch. JAC was thrilled and tried to play in a puddle of disinfectant. The couch survived but I think I'll flip the cushions.

Once upon a time I was cool and had money for frivolous things. Now I just wrangle a wild child and clean up crazy messes.