Isolation and History

I just woke up after getting two hours of consecutive sleep and I have a busy day planned. Jac has to go to the doctor and I have a lunch date with a friend. I am glad it is morning. I have grown to really hate the night. I feel sorry for Jess because the later it gets the more I am overcome with a growing sense of dread and by the time he comes home from work I'm practically depressed. I find waking up every two hours with the baby to cause an overwhelming sense of isolation. I feel like the rest of the world is sound asleep and I'm on some kind of bizarre schedule in a twilight zone. I've tried things to mitigate this feeling - tv, radio etc- but still I struggle with it.

Yesterday Jac and I watched the aftermath of a plane conducting an emergency landing in the Hudson River. Luckily, all 155 passengers and crew survived. Ferries came to their rescue. The pilot and crew evacuated all the passengers and the pilot walked through the plane twice while it was slowly sinking to make sure no one was left behind. As I watched I was proud to be American because I feel despite descending into consumerism the American people still have the underlying heart to be heroes - to be selfless. When my mom first called me and told me to turn on CNN I immediately recalled 9/11 and feared another terrorist attack. I think many people initially worried about the same thing. Our lives have been overshadowed by those terrible events on 9/11 for almost a decade. Everything changed from airport security to the initiation of two overseas wars. 9/11 was a defining event in my life and I can't help but wonder what will be a defining historic event in little Jac's life. He will not remember watching the plane in the Hudson with me but I wonder what the first big news story he will remember. I can only hope and pray that it will be nothing like 9/11, the Oklahoma City Bombing, New Orleans flooding, or the space shuttle exploding on take off.